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Friday, April 12, 2024

GREG GUTFELD: Nothing like human misery to pave the way for the Democrats' power grab

Just when you thought New York couldn’t get any nastier, it now smells like a humid day inside Joy Behar’s moomoo. Canadian wildfires are producing tons of smoke, all landing here, making it the worst thing from that country since Seth Rogen, but as the trees burn, another tree speaks out. Yes, human Elm, John Kerry commemorated the 79th anniversary of D-Day by comparing it to the fight against climate change. Note to John, it’s okay to visit the statues at Easter Island, just don’t turn into one. He claims the climate change fight requires the same level of innovation and mobilization that was required to fight the Nazis, but today’s threat comes from all of us. So if you don’t recycle and buy an EV, well, then you’re the new Hitler. Plus, he’s the last guy I’d talk to about the environment, the guy threw away his medals, and that’s littering. 

Meanwhile, East coasters are suffering, which makes Dems smile. Nothing like human misery to pave the way for a power grab. If this smog keeps up, churches will be closed. You will only be allowed out for food and Pride parades. AOC says that this smoke out just shows us, “how unprepared we are for the climate crisis… We must adapt our food systems, energy grids, infrastructure, health care,” blah, blah, blah, barf. Because when the government says adapt, they mean seize and destroy, but if she really cared about too much C02 in the air, she’d shut her gob. 

CANADA WARNS OF RECORD 2023 WILDFIRE DESTRUCTION AS TRAVELING SMOKE IMPACTS MILLIONS OF AMERICANS

Does she think this is the first forest fire in the history of the world? Well, actually, she might, she has an economics degree and still thinks shutting down businesses creates new jobs. She’s not bright. Five cows fart in Calcutta, and she’s ready to send us back to the days of horse and buggy. By the way, aren’t we teaching kids about Smokey the Bear anymore? I mean, that is, if Smokey still identifies as a bear.

NYC MAYOR ADAMS, HEALTH COMMISSIONER WARN NEW YORKERS TO MASK UP AS AIR QUALITY DIPS TO WORST SINCE 1960S

For God’s sake, please stop thinking about the kids, but at least Trudeau has a plan for using the leftover soot. 

Meanwhile, USA Today asks, “As Canada burns, smoke makes US air unhealthy and skies eerie. Is climate change to blame?” Well, no, USA Today people burning your newspaper to get a grill lit is more likely the cause. The fact is, 90% of forest fires are caused by humans. Campfires left unattended, discarded cigarettes, equipment malfunctions and the burning of debris like when I set fire to those old love letters from Larry Kudlow. It was hard to do. Did you know one in four wildfires are actually caused by arson? And that includes Dana Perino taking out ants with a magnifying glass. Evil.

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